The Leave Applications

See , how people write leave Applications.

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.

The Leave Applications; )

· Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

---

· This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."

---

· Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."

---

· From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."

---

· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"

---

· An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."

---

· A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

---

· Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."

---

· Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

---

· Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."

---

· Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

---

· Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

---

· A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you .

Dear Friends....This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you .

Hey .......(Employee) ,

Incentive nahi mila, Bura Huva

salary cut rahi hai, Bura Huva

Extra shift hogi, woh bhi bure hogi.

Hey Arjuna,

Tum pichla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,

Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo,

Bus apni salary main santusta raho....

Tumhari pocket se kya gaya , jo rote ho?

Jo aaya tha sab uper ki income thee.

Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee

Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.

Hey Dhananjaya,

Tum ne aisa kaun sa response diya, jo tumhara tha.

Sab kuch, 'cut-copy-paste' ka khel tha.

Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the..

Jo experience mila, yahi mila...

Jo support diya company ke liye...

Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo.

Jo system aaj tumhara hai...

Woh kal kisi aur ka tha....

Kal kisi aur ka or parson kisi aur ka hoga..

Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho..

Hey Kaunteya,

Yahi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.

"Kyo wayarth chinta karte ho, kisse wayarth darte ho,

Kaun tumhe nikaal sakta hai......"

' Policy change' company ka rule hai.

Jise tum policy change kahte ho, wahi to trick hai.

"Ek pal main tum Best performer or Hero no.1 ya Super

Star ban jaate ho,

Dusre pal main tum worst performer aur target nahin

achieve kar paatey ho."

Appraisal, incentive etc. etc. mann se hata do,

Vichaar se mita do. . .

Phir company tumhari hai or tum company ke.

Tasmat Arjuna,

Na yeh increment wageyrah tumhare liye hai, na tum

iske kabhi the. Parantu job secure hai Phir tum

tension kyon lete ho........? Tum apne aap ko company

ko arpit kar do. Yahi sabse bada golden rule hai. Jo

is golden rule ko jaanta hai, woh review,

incentive,recession ,retirement aadi se sada ke liye

muqt ho jaata hai...

Thanks and Regards

Here are some funny reasons why we Indians cannot be terrorists:

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.


2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.


3. With free food & drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're There


4. We would ALL want to fly the plane..


5. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.


6. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it.


7. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.


8. We would have postponed the mission because a cricket match was going on that day

9. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken with one of the hostages.

Mobile Wallpapers

Mobile Wallpapers

JOKE

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:



Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.



Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.



Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only



Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.



Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...



Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.



Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first:



Doctor: OK. Tell me.



Man:

I sleep like dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife



Doctor: are you a Telecom Employee?



Man: Yes!!



Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are a Telecom Employee. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.

Love

Emma Roberts